(250) 763 1040

How do you know if the relationships you have in your life are good for you?

Foundations of healthy relationships include:

• Knowing your own values and being clear about what things are most important to you in life
• Knowing that you are valuable and good enough exactly the way that you are
• Knowing who you really are and what you want out of life, and not being strongly influenced by other peoples opinions and beliefs
• Knowing that you deserve to be treated respectfully by others, and treating others with respect as well
• Being able to make choices about the people you spend time with and what kinds of influences you want in your life
• Feeling listened to and valued, and sharing that respect with the other person
  
• Taking good care of your own needs and making healthy choices about your lifestyle
• Being honest and comfortable talking to each other, and being able to say how you feel and what you need from the other person

Are you (or someone you know) experiencing relationship or friendship abuse?

These are the red flags that abuse is happening, or may happen in the future.

If the person:

• Is completely dependent on the relationship
• Uses too much affection or devotion to control you
• Is not honest with you, other people or himself/herself
• Seems incapable of trusting others (unfounded accusations of cheating or lying)
• Wants to control you (your appearance, activities, relationships)
• Is jealous or threatened by your relationships with other people – (tries to isolate you from supportive people)
• Is threatened by your accomplishments or tries to discourage you
• Puts you down or insults you, or is very critical
• Degrades or disrespects other people
• Loses temper and causes physical or emotional damage
• Has a history of abusing other people or animals
• Causes small humiliations without remorse (ex: tripping or pinching you)

... you should be aware that these behaviours are signs of abuse.

You can get help by:

Calling the Kids Help Phone at 1 800 668 6868 or visiting their website at www.kidshelpphone.ca

Talking to a parent, teacher, school counselor or other trusted adult

Calling the Kelowna Women's Shelter at 250-763-1040 to speak with a counselor and get referrals to other services

Calling the Kelowna Crisis Line at 250-763-9191

Contacting the Youth Against Violence Line at 1 800 680 4264 or This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Nobody should have to live with abuse. Help is available.

Shelter Violence Prevention Programs

The Kelowna Women's Shelter offers the Inside/Out Program, which is a violence prevention program for children and youth in schools and other community groups and settings. The program is delivered in the form of workshops, presentations or weekly group sessions throughout the year.

Inside/Out promotes critical thinking about healthy and abusive relationships, incorporating multimedia resources, fun activities and discussions.

There is no fee for having your class or group participate in the Inside/Out Program. For more information about the Inside/Out Program, please contact the Inside/Out Program Coordinator by calling 250-763-1040 or e-mailing This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .